Yearning for Simplicity, or Escape?
In Portugal I walked through tiny villages where the women still gathered to wash clothes in a communal wash basin filled with rain water. Chickens and goats lived within walled gardens, roosters calling as I walked through village after village.
Everywhere clothes were out to dry - on balconies, on lines suspended out of windows, on fences, in breezeways and on front porches. Laundry is not treated as a back-yard activity. Hydro is precious, and in every albergue I stayed in we were encouraged to air-dry our clothes, even if a dryer was available.
I know I have romantic ideals on simple living. I know also that I want to taste the life I have never lived - out of town, with a few chickens and a goat. I dream of this life where I can return to the tasks I remember, maybe from my own life, maybe from a past life. City living - urban existence - it can wear you down.
Portugal left me yearning for simplicity that I can attain.
Some life-changes are pending.
Last week I was not feeling well, I think the week was full of too much gluten, or it could have been really mild food poisoning. My guts were in revolt, and they needed to rest. Friday night I lay on the sofa with Netflix and Tiger Tea.
We had Bella [mother-in-law] on Saturday, and I had planned on taking her to visit Evee [wonderful grand-daughter] but Evee was also under the weather so I was left with Bella with no plans and brutally low energy. Bella visits make me so restless, my skin begins with crawl and I am agitated beyond belief. All the while I am thinking about what I could be doing, but I am trapped by this sad, elderly woman who does not talk, will not initiate or contribute to conversations.
I didn't have an alternate plan so I just endured, feeling guilty. And I made tomato sauce out of my garden tomatoes, because I had to do something. Sitting at the table staring at her was just too awkward. Husband is better with it - for about 15 minutes and then he tries to escape outside.
It was such hell. The highlight was going out for ice-cream before we took her back to sister-in-laws. Sister-in-law wanted to know if we got her out walking, and I didn't say that we could barely get her to move from the kitchen chair until ice-cream was mentioned.
One day a month is not too much for husband to spend with his mother, but it is something I had to initiate and force on him. I did not want him to regret later in life, the time he did not take to spend with his mother. Maybe I was wrong to force it since I seem to be the one who is left with the responsibility of finding something for us to do with Bella, and he just goes along with it.
Weird cycle. Must examine my emotions more on this, and restore his responsibility.
Last week when I was feeling ill, I googled Glamping and found us a weekend getaway. I rented a cabin on Otter River with no electricity or running water.
Off the grid, for 2 nights, am I insane?
Everywhere clothes were out to dry - on balconies, on lines suspended out of windows, on fences, in breezeways and on front porches. Laundry is not treated as a back-yard activity. Hydro is precious, and in every albergue I stayed in we were encouraged to air-dry our clothes, even if a dryer was available.
I know I have romantic ideals on simple living. I know also that I want to taste the life I have never lived - out of town, with a few chickens and a goat. I dream of this life where I can return to the tasks I remember, maybe from my own life, maybe from a past life. City living - urban existence - it can wear you down.
Portugal left me yearning for simplicity that I can attain.
Some life-changes are pending.
Last week I was not feeling well, I think the week was full of too much gluten, or it could have been really mild food poisoning. My guts were in revolt, and they needed to rest. Friday night I lay on the sofa with Netflix and Tiger Tea.
We had Bella [mother-in-law] on Saturday, and I had planned on taking her to visit Evee [wonderful grand-daughter] but Evee was also under the weather so I was left with Bella with no plans and brutally low energy. Bella visits make me so restless, my skin begins with crawl and I am agitated beyond belief. All the while I am thinking about what I could be doing, but I am trapped by this sad, elderly woman who does not talk, will not initiate or contribute to conversations.
I didn't have an alternate plan so I just endured, feeling guilty. And I made tomato sauce out of my garden tomatoes, because I had to do something. Sitting at the table staring at her was just too awkward. Husband is better with it - for about 15 minutes and then he tries to escape outside.
It was such hell. The highlight was going out for ice-cream before we took her back to sister-in-laws. Sister-in-law wanted to know if we got her out walking, and I didn't say that we could barely get her to move from the kitchen chair until ice-cream was mentioned.
One day a month is not too much for husband to spend with his mother, but it is something I had to initiate and force on him. I did not want him to regret later in life, the time he did not take to spend with his mother. Maybe I was wrong to force it since I seem to be the one who is left with the responsibility of finding something for us to do with Bella, and he just goes along with it.
Weird cycle. Must examine my emotions more on this, and restore his responsibility.
Last week when I was feeling ill, I googled Glamping and found us a weekend getaway. I rented a cabin on Otter River with no electricity or running water.
Off the grid, for 2 nights, am I insane?
Does your mother-in-law have some level of dementia? Not initiating conversation or contributing to it are typical symptoms.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I cannot imagine anything worse than "the simple life." Everything off the grid is fucking hard work that would quickly become a grind. I've heard too many stories from my mother of how things used to be back in the day.
Bella lives with John's sister, Pat. Pat took her out of a retirement home around 5 years ago, which would have streamed her directly into a nursing home in the same complex. She felt Bella would be less work for her if she lived at home with her, perhaps so. Bella has always been prone to depression - and has always used sleep as an aid to escape and boredom. Even when she was in her 50's, talking to her was like prying information out of a stone, so dementia? maybe, but I think mostly depression - or a mental laziness? My mother suffered dementia from her late 60s, and she was much more interesting even at her wackiest! We will never, ever move off the grid. Just out of town so I can have chickens. :)
DeleteMy Dad got like that too. All he wanted to do was lay in bed and be left alone.
ReplyDeleteI live life as simply as I can, but being born and raised in the city close to the GTA, certain creature comforts were ingrained.
I am a city person, who longs for chickens. A lapsed pagan who dreams of a sky dark enough to see the stars. A mid-50 year old woman who figures that if she wants chickens, she must act within the next couple of years... But not off the grid. Bella is sad, and has always been emotionally absent. She doesn't try anymore to contribute, although she is always dressed beautifully. Part of the problem with our visits is I have never catered to her like some of Husband's siblings. I never had time or funds to take her on holiday or out for dinners. We had many children and I always expected her to experience life like we live it. Now, the kids are older and she comes to visit, and I still don't cater to her... I suck at elder care.
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