My Choice to be Dry
I come from a long, sad, confusing line of alcoholics. From the maternal grandfather who died in the gutter - to the mother who binge drank and the father who hid mickeys in his coat pocket, or sometimes the mailbox... Drinking to excess was a passage into adulthood myself and my nephew [who was two years older than me] were eager to experience. My parents and his parents were a part of the 60s cocktail generation. At the cottage, there was ample beer and wine on weekends, and a good time could only be had if you were well oiled.
My nephew and I would fill our rain-coat pockets full of brown stubby bottles of beer and wander the dark cottage roads drinking them. I don't remember getting trashed on these walks, but it shows the complete neglect we experienced as children at the family cottage. As a mother of many children, now grown, I am heartbroken for myself and my childhood. It was hard being the 5th daughter of a woman who was so tired. Having me at 43, I can only imagine.
I drank heavily as a teenager until my mid 20s when I began to reproduce. In my 30s I picked it up again, and drank daily, never getting drunk, just drinking to release the edge... everyday.
I managed to stop smoking for the last time in 1998, and loved the freedom from that addiction. I began to dream of a life with no wine - but it took a couple of tries to discover what people drink when they don't drink wine. In the fall of 2016, I stopped drinking. I became bloody annoying to all who love me, spouting sober this and sobriety that. It allowed me to save money to go to Portugal this past spring. It allows me to drink more caffeine - for some reason it doesn't keep me awake anymore - and it has freed me from the anxiety of stopping yet again for another bottle of wine.
It has caused great rifts in old friendships and discomfort with my sisters - who don't get it.
When I went to Portugal and Spain I did drink - very occasionally. I had a glass of red wine in Porto with my first meal in a restaurant - salted cod. I had wine in Barcelos with my pilgrims meal. I had a beautiful bowl of red wine in Galicia - the wine as thick as blood.
Did it cause me to relapse into my old bad habits? Nope. At home I will not drink. I did go to a winery in June with friends who are members and had a complimentary trio of tasters... I think I was testing myself. Dangerous ground, but all is still very dry in my home.
At the end of the month we are hosting a Celebration of Life gathering for Marilyn, who was one of the many alcoholics I am related to - and I have decided as hostess that this occasion will be a dry one. It's a funeral, in a sense, and I am planning it to be an open house between the hours of 1-4pm on a Saturday.
After her recent interment, my two surviving sisters and myself went out for lunch and I was talking about the memorial and my eldest sister was completely taken aback, like : NO WINE???? And in turn took me aback. I said no. She says that some of her grown children might not come.
Well, in that case we are saving a lot of adults from drinking and driving. I didn't say that though.
My nephew and I would fill our rain-coat pockets full of brown stubby bottles of beer and wander the dark cottage roads drinking them. I don't remember getting trashed on these walks, but it shows the complete neglect we experienced as children at the family cottage. As a mother of many children, now grown, I am heartbroken for myself and my childhood. It was hard being the 5th daughter of a woman who was so tired. Having me at 43, I can only imagine.
I drank heavily as a teenager until my mid 20s when I began to reproduce. In my 30s I picked it up again, and drank daily, never getting drunk, just drinking to release the edge... everyday.
I managed to stop smoking for the last time in 1998, and loved the freedom from that addiction. I began to dream of a life with no wine - but it took a couple of tries to discover what people drink when they don't drink wine. In the fall of 2016, I stopped drinking. I became bloody annoying to all who love me, spouting sober this and sobriety that. It allowed me to save money to go to Portugal this past spring. It allows me to drink more caffeine - for some reason it doesn't keep me awake anymore - and it has freed me from the anxiety of stopping yet again for another bottle of wine.
It has caused great rifts in old friendships and discomfort with my sisters - who don't get it.
When I went to Portugal and Spain I did drink - very occasionally. I had a glass of red wine in Porto with my first meal in a restaurant - salted cod. I had wine in Barcelos with my pilgrims meal. I had a beautiful bowl of red wine in Galicia - the wine as thick as blood.
Did it cause me to relapse into my old bad habits? Nope. At home I will not drink. I did go to a winery in June with friends who are members and had a complimentary trio of tasters... I think I was testing myself. Dangerous ground, but all is still very dry in my home.
At the end of the month we are hosting a Celebration of Life gathering for Marilyn, who was one of the many alcoholics I am related to - and I have decided as hostess that this occasion will be a dry one. It's a funeral, in a sense, and I am planning it to be an open house between the hours of 1-4pm on a Saturday.
After her recent interment, my two surviving sisters and myself went out for lunch and I was talking about the memorial and my eldest sister was completely taken aback, like : NO WINE???? And in turn took me aback. I said no. She says that some of her grown children might not come.
Well, in that case we are saving a lot of adults from drinking and driving. I didn't say that though.
In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with having a dry Celebration of Life. If someone "can't come" to an afternoon (!) open house that only lasts 3 hours (!) without drinking (!), then that says a lot more about them than you. And preventing people from drinking and driving is a valid concern because, you know, in Canada there is legal liability for damages placed on whoever hosts an event where people get sloshed and then go out and kill/injure someone on the road (themselves included).
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid, nearly all my relatives on my mother's side of the family were major alcoholics. Every funeral or other family gathering with them ended in a big booze-up, so I know what you mean.