Lam Unfiltered

Life changes hard and fast - especially where the goddess is concerned. Husband accepted an offer on Tuesday, gave notice on Wednesday and I was dismissed from the company in a whirlwind of retaliation. Good changes are in motion. Even when you expect dismissal, and are prepared physically with bags packed and desk clean of all elements of me, the personal rejection still bites. I was raised with old fashioned parents and one of the absolute worst things to happen to a person is to be fired. Now this is hogwash, I know, but there is a certain amount of shame that descended and I've  been walking it out, on the trails. In 24 hours I went from hurt, to sadness, to anger to shame - and the little bit of shame that is left is that I wasted so much of my precious life and time working there. But that too is fading. This has happened in a time where I am toe-dipping into minimalism, and setting aside things that I do not need and do not use, or wear. I think my job was not serv...

On Tuesday we drove into Toronto to pick up a couple of boxes my brother-in-law had set aside of my sister's belongings. We also were taking the iron bed we had provided for Marilyn in February when I realized she was sleeping on a mattress on the floor. How sad it was to get there and see the bed made, sheets and all. He said that we were to take it all - sheets - blankets - pillows. I think he couldn't deal with the bed. It was sobering for me to see all her clothes were gone - and all her toiletries, make-up. It was brutal, but such a necessary task for him to complete. I hope her things were donated, but I didn't ask. This has been surreal - seeing how quickly we are erased. We think we leave a mark, but really, once our stuff is gone - where are we? I suppose those of us who have children leave behind memories they have of us. In the boxes he had set aside were a sad mix of jewelry and photographs. It was a mess - like it had been tossed into the boxes. A huge ta...