Lam Unfiltered

Love people, use things, because the opposite never works. ~ the Minimalists [YouTube] I woke early with Husband, I get up at 6ish to have a coffee with him and yes, I make his lunch. I never did before now, not when I was a stay-at-home-mom, not when I made my own, but now I do. I am giving him a lunch like a kiss, as he navigates his day. We used to work together, for most of the last seven years, and we spent all those commuting hours together as well. This week I have turned a corner. I have achieved separation and the ownership over the tasks that used to fill my day. I have let go of my self-importance and my ego. There is a lot of space left where my self-importance lived. There exists energy and time . The other day I bought the most beautiful pullover sweater from VV. It was priced at $2.99, because there were a few small moth holes in it... So yesterday I darned the holes. I sat by the kitchen window and darned, then I shaved all the nubs off it with this hand-held t...

"Do whatever the hell it takes to make you feel real again." ~ Myke Hutchiings In early September I stumbled upon a blog and YouTube channel by an Australian woman titled  A Small Wardrobe . The videos are dry and quirky, she has a cat named Mr Jeffreys who stars in many of her videos, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching [binging] her minimalism evolution. Minimalism appealed to me because I felt I had no control over the changes that were coming in my life, but I could control my excess mugs and books and fabric. I had thinned my wardrobe in May with a heavy hand, so in September there was not a lot left to de-clutter - so I thought. I began using the Wardrobe Diary from the site above, and after 2 weeks of checking off what I wore each day, I could already see a pattern. When I forced myself to wear the neglected clothing, more often than not, I felt awkward or uncomfortable in them. The goal to having a capsule or minimalist wardrobe is to only have clothing in...

On Saturday we hosted the Memorial for my sister. I have to say, it was a lovely tribute for her - she would have been so happy - she would have had a blast . Nieces and Nephews, sisters, great nieces and nephews - came from far and wide - through terrible weekend traffic - to honour her. I put together a small photo album, with photos from when she was a child, a teenager - a working career woman at the University. I wanted to create a picture of a woman who was more than her addictions - more than a fuck up. I wanted us all to see her at five years old - her life ahead of her - spinning in the sunshine. That photo ended up representing everything about her to me - her free spirit. I wanted them to see her sitting at her desk, smiling - organized and fully functioning. I think I succeeded. I am exactly 10 years younger than Marilyn, we were a family of 5 sisters but she was my only sibling at home, our older sisters married and out the door by 1970. She was the one I would ask...

I am obsessed with two of my toenails; two tiny fatalities from my trek through Portugal and Spain in April. It was my 5 th day walking the Camino Portuguese, and I had to climb a small mountain, really only a hill at 505 metres, but for me it was a mountain. It was raining, and the water coursed down the rocky path I was attempting to climb. My waterproof hiking boots were proving to be not-waterproof.   The path was steep, and I had to move from rock to rock, my heart was pounding with exertion and I felt absolute despair, wondering if my heart would stop and that I would be found soggy and dead, lying in a puddle. I remember thinking that if I died how traumatizing that would be for my family - so I kept on climbing, rock to rock, through the water. My guidebook described the climb as lovely one, and not too difficult. I found it hellish – and I was angry every step. I was angry at my body, for not being young and pliable, and as strong has it had been 20 years – 15 y...