Buddy System In Place
I'm not sure where I was, mentally when I wrote last. September was a culmination of so many things and emotions - which has blended onto October to a degree - but all I can do is breathe, walk, write and be very gentle with our couple-unit, as we navigate new employment - continue to unwind from the last one - and prepare to hibernate.
In September I walked a lot in the forest near my house, sometimes alone but quite often with Adult Offspring or husband. As my anxiety increased, so did my lung capacity and stride. Last night, though, was a warning that ended well, but had the potential to end poorly. I decided to walk, around 6pm. Adult Offspring opted out, and husband was at a meeting with owner of last company, which was the reason for my need to walk.
At the railroad tracks before the trail entrance, I saw a man. \He was standing by a shrub holding plastic bags in his hand, and I thought shit - here is one of those decisions I have to make as a woman. Do I walk, or do I turn around. He looked older - my age - lol, and was not very fit. I decided to go for my walk. I went up the hill and just before I turned onto the woodland path, I glanced back, and here he was heading up the hill toward the path.
Now I don't know if he turned down my path or took the main one up the Escarpment. I don't know if he was following me because there and then I decided to run. I sprinted down the path and quite successfully walked ran the 2ish kilometers that was the dark and isolated forest I love.
When I reached the other end, I deviated from my usual route, heading for the open field and then the road home. It is simply detestable that if I see a man I have to think instantly of my safety, but from now on, when I want to walk alone, I will create an urban route and when I am in the forest, I will be with a buddy.
The forest is beautiful now. On our Holiday Monday, husband and I had a beautiful hike along the Bruce - finishing map 9 and next time we will be starting the last map in our section. We still have to walk the beginning from Grimsby to Winona, but will do so through the winter if the weather is mild.
There is more new with me - some good news and a fantastic opportunity that I will share once it is completely firm. Here in Ontario we are in a mini heat wave and I am meeting my sister for coffee later and that will be lovely.
In September I walked a lot in the forest near my house, sometimes alone but quite often with Adult Offspring or husband. As my anxiety increased, so did my lung capacity and stride. Last night, though, was a warning that ended well, but had the potential to end poorly. I decided to walk, around 6pm. Adult Offspring opted out, and husband was at a meeting with owner of last company, which was the reason for my need to walk.
At the railroad tracks before the trail entrance, I saw a man. \He was standing by a shrub holding plastic bags in his hand, and I thought shit - here is one of those decisions I have to make as a woman. Do I walk, or do I turn around. He looked older - my age - lol, and was not very fit. I decided to go for my walk. I went up the hill and just before I turned onto the woodland path, I glanced back, and here he was heading up the hill toward the path.
Now I don't know if he turned down my path or took the main one up the Escarpment. I don't know if he was following me because there and then I decided to run. I sprinted down the path and quite successfully walked ran the 2ish kilometers that was the dark and isolated forest I love.
When I reached the other end, I deviated from my usual route, heading for the open field and then the road home. It is simply detestable that if I see a man I have to think instantly of my safety, but from now on, when I want to walk alone, I will create an urban route and when I am in the forest, I will be with a buddy.
The forest is beautiful now. On our Holiday Monday, husband and I had a beautiful hike along the Bruce - finishing map 9 and next time we will be starting the last map in our section. We still have to walk the beginning from Grimsby to Winona, but will do so through the winter if the weather is mild.
There is more new with me - some good news and a fantastic opportunity that I will share once it is completely firm. Here in Ontario we are in a mini heat wave and I am meeting my sister for coffee later and that will be lovely.
Yes, walking alone at night is always fraught for a woman. Even an urban route is not necessarily a good idea. I'd opt for mall walking under those circumstances, where everything is well lit.
ReplyDeleteHow the hell did Ontario get a mini-heat wave? We've got goddamn snow here in Alberta. This is what causes Western Alienation, you know.