Lam Unfiltered

Love people, use things, because the opposite never works. ~ the Minimalists [YouTube] I woke early with Husband, I get up at 6ish to have a coffee with him and yes, I make his lunch. I never did before now, not when I was a stay-at-home-mom, not when I made my own, but now I do. I am giving him a lunch like a kiss, as he navigates his day. We used to work together, for most of the last seven years, and we spent all those commuting hours together as well. This week I have turned a corner. I have achieved separation and the ownership over the tasks that used to fill my day. I have let go of my self-importance and my ego. There is a lot of space left where my self-importance lived. There exists energy and time . The other day I bought the most beautiful pullover sweater from VV. It was priced at $2.99, because there were a few small moth holes in it... So yesterday I darned the holes. I sat by the kitchen window and darned, then I shaved all the nubs off it with this hand-held t...

"Do whatever the hell it takes to make you feel real again." ~ Myke Hutchiings In early September I stumbled upon a blog and YouTube channel by an Australian woman titled  A Small Wardrobe . The videos are dry and quirky, she has a cat named Mr Jeffreys who stars in many of her videos, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching [binging] her minimalism evolution. Minimalism appealed to me because I felt I had no control over the changes that were coming in my life, but I could control my excess mugs and books and fabric. I had thinned my wardrobe in May with a heavy hand, so in September there was not a lot left to de-clutter - so I thought. I began using the Wardrobe Diary from the site above, and after 2 weeks of checking off what I wore each day, I could already see a pattern. When I forced myself to wear the neglected clothing, more often than not, I felt awkward or uncomfortable in them. The goal to having a capsule or minimalist wardrobe is to only have clothing in...

I'm not sure where I was, mentally when I wrote last. September was a culmination of so many things and emotions - which has blended onto October to a degree - but all I can do is breathe, walk, write and be very gentle with our couple-unit, as we navigate new employment - continue to unwind from the last one - and prepare to hibernate. In September I walked a lot in the forest near my house, sometimes alone but quite often with Adult Offspring or husband. As my anxiety increased, so did my lung capacity and stride. Last night, though, was a warning that ended well, but had the potential to end poorly. I decided to walk, around 6pm. Adult Offspring opted out, and husband was at a meeting with owner of last company, which was the reason for my need to walk. At the railroad tracks before the trail entrance, I saw a man. \He was standing by a shrub holding plastic bags in his hand, and I thought shit - here is one of those decisions I have to make as a woman. Do I walk, or do I tu...